How to Develop Social Skills Without Socialization
A life skill for teens that is a big part of our every day lives is etiquette. Did you know that it’s possible to develop social skills without socialization for middle school students?
The homeschooling community is wide and diverse, yet there is one question that almost every parent has been asked during the years they school their children at home. “What about socialization?”
We are led to believe that if we don’t put our children in public school, they will be missing out. They will become social misfits. Homeschooling means they will be stuck inside all day, having no opportunity for socialization.
I decided to see exactly what my children were missing by being taught at home. What is the definition of socialization? I actually found quite a few different definitions!
In general, most refer to the modification of an individual’s behavior to conform to the demands of the surrounding culture. To convert or adapt to the needs of society.
This is NOT what I want for my children. I want them to be well rounded, free thinkers who are leaders, not followers. I don’t want them to spend hours every day in an artificial environment, learning about the world from people who have the same life experience as them.
In our family, social skills like having respect for others and the ability to communicate with people of all ages, are more important than being socialized.
How have my children developed their social skills?
It happens as we regularly engage in the world together. Every day we spend time outside of our home, interacting with people. We go on field trips, take TaeKwonDo, visit the library, learn at Disney, go to the gym and eat out at restaurants.
Through these types of interfaces, my kids have learned how to talk to people. They are comfortable in a wide variety of circumstances because they have learned in real life situations, not in an artificial environment.
Many of their interactions happen within my proximity, so I’m able to quickly praise my children when I see them modeling behaviors well or when they fall a little short, I have real examples that I can use to help them improve.
Another important social skill is making friends with others. I love that I am able to give my children the time and opportunities they need to build and maintain lasting friendships.
Because they are not weighed down by peer pressure and the need to fit in, they are able to seek out friends that bring them joy instead of having to chase relationships just to be popular. They are free to be themselves, without trying to fit into someone else’s mold. Because they are given the time and space to figure out who they are, they are able to build deeper bonds with others.
The ability to develop relationships with people of all ages and both genders will serve my children well throughout their lives.
Socialization is not the same as having social skills. I will do what I can to make sure my children have well developed social skills, without the help of socialization.
More Social Skills Resources for Tweens
- It is crucial that we teach communication skills to our tweens. Luckily, with these tips, it doesn’t have to be complicated.
- Make sure your tweens know how to handle themselves when they visit their friend’s house.
I’ve taken my kids out of traditional public schools because I don’t like the ‘socialization’ going on there, lol! But yes, there is a difference between being homeschooled and not. There is a slight delay in picking up the ‘social cues’ other kids find or figure out in public or private schools. But if kids have to go into those environments they figure it out. Everytime I start a new job, I have to figure people out, what works, etc.
I know what you mean Nita! I know a lot of moms who put their kids back into school for high school because they think they can’t teach it, but those are some of the hardest years socially in school. I totally agree that we are all learning social skills/cues every time we do something new. Every job, etc. has its own unique culture. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!
Good post! Thank you for sharing! I wrote about socialization just yesterday 🙂 You can see what I wrote here: http://dottodotconnections.weebly.com/1/post/2013/09/the-s-word-socialization.html
I found your post through the Hip Homeschool Hop.
Thank you Missy! I’m glad you found us. I love your post. Isn’t it funny how widespread this question is?
What a great post that all homeschool moms should read! I am featuring you as one of my favorites in tomorrow’s Heart for Home Blog Hop. Please sure to stop by my blog tomorrow to see the feature and to grab an “I’ve been featured” button! 🙂
Thank you for featuring us Lisa! It’s such a great topic and one that we all have experience with! We’ll be stopping by tomorrow to check it out!
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